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To Real Live Preacher's credit, I can hear this being said by several of the precocious youngsters in his parish.
But it's funny for Father's Day.
(This is a reply to Marcy's last comment that got out of hand. I guess I'm working through some of these ideas in the non-work environment.)
Nah, I never delete anything unless it's known spam or using some really abusive language. (Well, my most popular post I took down, along with the comments, because it was attracting WAY too much foul language.) I just hadn't gotten to approving comments. You should be whitelisted as a previously approved commenter, but I'm not yet up on this new MT version.
Totally agree with acknowledging your unmet needs. I'm just saying that if you can see why they are not being met, you can reframe your situation and the reframing may lead to less stress. It's not going to make it all better but it can help to have realistic expectations of others.
The Brave New World feeling comes from some core unspoken values that permeate (esp.) American thought. Because many of beliefs, including those we have integrated into our beliefs in the Church, reject any idea of Nature and embrace only Nurture, things that say that we have a Nature inherent in our creation must be rejected.
Looking at Marcy's comment on my last post, yeah, it's almost unreadable. But I'm trying to say something big without having to get into all the ins and outs that I talk about for work.
The point is that if you are what I call in one of the "higher modes" and others generally call "gifted", it can be hard to develop the deeply affirming relationships. You need someone who is like-minded for that.
This creates psychological stress.
The good news is that the brain is a lot more resilient than people used to think. Get some of what I call "Modal Recognition" and you can reclaim a lot of lost ground.
Marcy recently wrote about attempting to find a new psychotherapist in Northern Indiana, and talked about some judgments that she had about some of her previous therapists who didn't fit with her. (One of her old therapists, with whom she did good work, wrote a book with Warren Rule. I think this says a lot about her.)
I wrote a comment and she replied in a comment. This post examines my extended answers to her questions.
My comment:
It doesn’t have to be true, because there are always exceptions, but I think that having a therapist who is generally at least in your league, mental-process-wise, works better. You don’t want a therapist who cannot understand the cognitive processes that you use. Personality is important, but if they can’t understand what you are saying when you feel you are speaking plainly (and there are some real reasons why this happens that are no one’s "fault") it’s probably going to be a waste of your time. Degree is irrelevant to this, of course.
Does raise an issue, though. There’s a pretty good chance that you are mentally overwhelming the natives over there. (I say this as a Hoosier.) That can make social relations very difficult for the best of us. If you already feel uncomfortable with people, this can cause debilitating affective disorders. Therapy is of little value in this, except to help with coping skills. Personally, I’ve gotten to the point where I reckon it’s better to fix the broken leg rather than learn to cope with it. If the locals aren’t “getting” you, that could be a really nasty addition to the other stresses.
Marcy's reply:
The new church had a meeting to move forward in our start-up. There are a lot of issues that need more frank airing and dealing with (mostly it has to do with money and what having a functioning church would probably require, realistically). It seems obvious to me that we are not going to be an "outreach" church or "seeker sensitive". We're moving towards "teaching church". If you are going to be a teaching church, you will not be focusing on evangelism.
And that statement needs some unpacking.
You see, there are some things that any small religious organization that needs to add to its numbers must do. Spiritual training, developing its people, choosing certain values against other ones, specifying group boundaries, evangelizing, marketing the ideas, keeping the members focused, etc.
The group came over to my folks' house in 1988 during Christmas break. Not too sure about the date, to be honest. Could be 1988 or 1989. Could be 1987, to be honest. Now that I'm looking at it, I bet it is.
The guys were all friends. Paul Kinney introduced L and I to our church in Chicago, indirectly, by inviting us to a Christmas party he and his wife threw at their Chicago apartment in 1993. We met a newly married couple who were studying at Moody, who happened to be going to a church that had just bought a new building. Well, a used building but new to them.
"Wait until January," they advised. "The plaster will be done falling off the walls."
Anyone who has gone to that church will laugh at that. The last big plaster fall was in 2003 or so, when the angels above the altar came crashing down, debris falling as far as row seven or so.
It could be 1983. But there's a lot of us there. Even the Kinney's cousin, who was from a suburb (I've now forgotten her name, although she was swell). We went to Six Flags north of Chicago for a day in June or July on this choir tour. It was freezing, and all of us were wearing shorts.
I'll admit it: I fell in love on that tour. Pretty much that day. My first real romance.
You know, I can't recall most of the names of the folks in this picture. Jim, Paul, Becky, Steve, Dawn, Eric, .... well, I can do some of the names, I guess.