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May 05, 2005
Why The Atkins Diet Sucks
I've never liked the Atkins Diet, but for a long time I wasn't able to put my finger on exactly why. Part of it is that I'm suspicious of a diet that tells you to not eat things that are proven to be good for you, like fruit.
Recently I discovered the real reason that the Atkins Diet sucks. It sucks because life, Real Life, is all about bread.
From the beginning, the promises of life held out to us by our Creator have been promises of bread. We're used to hearing about the promised land overflowing with milk and honey. But just before Moses died, he blessed the Israelites and said this:
"Jacob's spring is secure in a land of grain and wine, where the heavens drop dew (Deut. 33:28)."
Grain and wine. Moses not only meant that God was leading them to a fruitful land. Grain and wine also refers to the ultimate salvation offered in the body and blood of Jesus.
Jesus himself is the Bread of Life. During the Last Supper, he took bread and told the disciples that it was his body, broken for them. We remember his death when we eat bread during the celebration of communion. We also remember his death when we share a meal together, an act commonly referred to as "breaking bread together."
Some of us do, anyway. A friend of ours, a truly zany guy and a wonderful Christian, doesn't eat bread. Of all his bizarro and mostly endearing habits, this is truly the most annoying. When we got out to eat with him, he orders things that come with bread, like burgers and fish sandwiches, and either asks for them without the bread or pushes the buns aside. Then he reaches into his bag and pulls out his bottle of lo-carb ketchup, which he carries with him everywhere. (Meg Ryan's high-maintenance character in "When Harry Met Sally" has nothing on this guy.)
Our friend, "Roberto," is in his forties and is very thin. There is no real reason for him to be quite so maniacal about following the Atkins Diet.
Roberto also talks about disliking having to eat bread during the celebration of communion. "Even that little, tiny crumb that you can barely feel on your tongue?" I ask. "You can't be too careful," he says. He's kidding, but only kind of. This is where I think he's going too far.
Some people, like my friend C., don't like to chew the body of Christ. They prefer a paper-thin wafer that melts on your tongue. Like absorbing the body of Christ, C. says. I myself prefer to chew a little, just to know that Jesus is there. But to each her own.
It's another thing entirely, however, to be so preoccupied with carb counting that it affects your attitude toward communion.
I read recently that there are roughly 500 references to bread in the Bible. Some are stories: the loaves and fishes, for example. Some are metaphors: beware the leaven of the Pharisees. Bread was a major dietary staple in biblical times, and it has many wonderful qualities. It keeps for several days. In the form of grain, it can be stored for a long time to ward against times of want. It is of the earth. Of course, if he'd wanted to, Jesus could have picked another food when referring to himself. Why not fish, for example? Or he could have picked a food that was less common, in order to set himself apart from the norm. But he picked bread, and in so doing, he invested bread with meaning and nourishment above and beyond its material substance.
Anne Lamott recognizes this in her newest book, "Plan B." She says:
"I went by the cafe and asked the aunties [her thighs] what they might like for a snack--bread pudding or fruit salad. They wanted half a sandwich, a lot of bread pudding, and one small whole-wheat bun. I think they would have ordered a bread beverage if they could--beer, with hops and barley, or in the interest of sobriety, a raisin-bread frappe. Bread is as spiritual as human life gets. Rumi wrote, 'Be a well-baked loaf.' Loaves are made to be eaten, to be buttered, and shared. Rumi is saying to be of service, to be delicious and give life. The aunties know things."
The aunties--and I, and hopefully all of us--want the real thing. We want the promised land of grain and wine, and we know that a "land of lo-carb bars and diet soda" just isn't going to do it.
Can a real Christian follow the Atkins Diet?
Posted by Lisa at May 5, 2005 11:00 AM
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Comments
I agree. I hate the atkins diet, although I haven't been on it. Many people may call me "lucky" because I have a fat metabolism. thats b*llsh*t! in the spring, summer and fall I walk everywhere on foot. To get back to my main topic (hating the atkins diet) ever since they came out with it, I've been eating even more bread and potatoes then ever before. So all of you on the atkins diet, get off your spoiled a$$es and get to exercising, its the only healthly thing to do. (Please note: all of this is only what I think about the atkins diet, if you like it, then go ahead and like it, you have the right to do so.)
Posted by: aleks at January 11, 2006 08:49 PM